Step One: Foundation

At 22, I signed the lease on my very first apartment. I remember staring at the bare walls, holding keys that belonged entirely to me and feeling that sharp mix of independence and quiet anxiety. I had set a standard for myself early: I was going to create a home.

During those foundational years, I was also in a seven-year relationship. As toxic and challenging as that relationship was at times looking back, it served as a profound classroom. It taught me patience. It showed me that I have the heart and capacity to love someone through all their seasons while at the same time giving me absolute clarity on what I want and do not want for myself moving forward. It taught me boundaries.

Crucially, it taught me that space is required to let a relationship breathe. Life doesn’t just stop because you meet someone. You have to maintain your own hobbies, interests and world outside of a partner. It taught me the power of clear communication, maintaining individuality and knowing when to protect my own peace.

Looking back now from the vantage point of my 35th chapter, securing my own space and learning those early lessons was just the setup. The real building work. I turned what used to be a battlefield into my safe space. A place that finally feeds my spirit built entirely for my rest and comfort. 

Seven Years (and counting) of Unlearning & The Art of Romancing Life

After that relationship ended, a big piece of my healing came through spending the last seven years (and counting) single. Being on my own for this stretch of time isn’t about waiting for someone else to complete my life; I’m already whole. I’ve learned who I truly am when no one else is watching and I unlearned old patterns, expectations and conditioning that didn’t serve me.

As much as I still crave genuine romance, I realized years ago I didn’t need to wait for a partner to experience it. I learned to romance myself.

I move intentionally, refusing to rush through my days or treat my life like a checklist. Whether it’s treating myself to a dimly lit steak dinner at The Keg with a glass of Cab Sauv, a Sephora splurge on new skin care, new books or new jewelry to adorn the altar, I show up for myself fully. I’ve cultivated a relationship with myself built on respect, high standards and genuine love for myself.

The Quiet Victories

For a long time, success was measured by what people can see from the outside. They saw me excelling in my career, taking on bigger roles that lead me to win awards for my accomplishments, but the accomplishments I am proudest of at 35 are the ones that happened behind closed doors. I bit off more than I can chew and ate!

I shifted from surviving and managing stress to building genuine stability, security and wealth. Debts, financially and spiritually were being paid off.  Beyond the numbers, I did the deep heavy lifting of personal healing. Real stability isn’t just a bank account balance—it’s the peace of mind that comes from knowing you can handle whatever comes next. 

Learning to Take Up Space

Healing wasn’t just mental and emotional; it had to show up in how I inhabited my own body. For years, I hid under oversized baggy clothes. It wasn’t because I lacked confidence in who I was, but because I hated the unwanted attention that came with existing in my body. Hiding was my armor. It was a way to keep the world at arm’s length. I can’t help how I was born or my genetics… I am a beautiful shapely woman.

My relationship with fitness and my body has completely evolved. It’s no longer about shrinking or staying unseen to stay safe. It’s about strength, health and honoring what my body can do. This year, I am locking in and staying consistent with my fitness journey. Not for anyone else’s gaze or approval, but for me and only me.

Flying Solo & Reclaiming My Freedom

For years the thought of getting on a plane terrified me. The idea of losing control, suspended thousands of feet in the air kept me grounded in ways I didn’t want to admit.

Then came the moment I decided I was done letting fear set my parameters.

Booking my first solo trip wasn’t just about taking a holiday; it was a deliberate confrontation with my own limits. Boarding that flight alone, sitting in that seat and watching the ground fall away was pure liberation. I got to wake up in Mexican sun on my 35th Birthday. 

The entire journey was deeply cathartic. It felt like a physical and emotional purge of everything I had been carrying. I baptized myself in the warm salt water of Isla Mujeres, washing away old anxieties, doubts and heavy energy. I threw myself into new adventures, soaking up the vibrant local culture, connecting with some really cool people from around the world, eating copious amounts of Tacos (and Tequila, can’t forget the Tequila) and immersing myself in an energy that was nothing short of magical. Stepping into that experience on my own terms shifted something permanently inside me.

If I could overcome a fear that had held me back for so long what else was I convincing myself I couldn’t do?

The View from 35

Entering this 35th chapter feels entirely different from any milestone before it. It’s not about striving to prove myself anymore. It’s about celebrating every battle fought, every boundary held, every habit built and every fear left behind in the rearview mirror. I am going to pop my shit! I hopped on a plane alone, I paid off all my debt and created peace for myself. I’m highly respected in my career. I show up for the people that I love.

Above all, it’s about leaning fully into my intuition and trusting my own magic. I move with the deep, unshakeable faith that whatever is meant for me will never pass me by…it will find me right where I am. 

I am stable. I am grounded. I am standing strong in my body, moving at my own pace. I am divinely me.

And how exquisite it is to not just survive—but to truly thrive at 35